The Twelve Days of Christmas by Voldemort
by The Fraternizing Farting Dragon
Summary: The title says it all. Oneshot.


**The Twelve Days of Christmas by Voldemort**

**Summary:** The title says it all. Oneshot.

**Disclaimer: **Rowling's the owner like duh.

**TFFD:** I know Christmas is still far away, but still.

**Christmas Cheer**

Voldemort drummed his fingers on his desk, his brow furrowed deep in concentration. After a few minutes, he quickly grabbed a piece of parchment and an eagle quill. Dipping the quill in ink, he started writing.

Once he was finished, he called for Lucius. Giving the parchment to Lucius, he ordered, 'This will be sang during this upcoming party. Make sure everyone memorizes it and no one messes up. I'll be very angry if anyone does. You're dismissed.'

Lucius gave a small gulp and nodded, before exiting the room. Once in the privacy of his chambers, he unrolled the parchment and started to read, his eyes bulging wide with surprise. He read it over and over again, before he slowly started to burst out in laughter.

For the Dark Lord had written his own version of the Twelve Days of Christmas.

_The Twelve Days of Christmas by Lord Voldemort_

_On the first day of Christmas,_

_My Death Eaters sent to me_

_Harry Potter in a pine tree._

_On the second day of Christmas,_

_My Death Eaters sent to me_

_Two Order spies,_

_And Harry Potter in a pine tree._

_On the third day of Christmas,_

_My Death Eaters sent to me_

_Three house-elves,_

_Two Order spies,_

_And Harry Potter in a pine tree._

_On the fourth day of Christmas,_

_My Death Eaters sent to me_

_Four Hogwarts artifacts,_

_Three house-elves,_

_Two Order spies,_

_And Harry Potter in a pine tree._

_On the fifth day of Christmas,_

_My Death Eaters sent to me_

_Five Philosopher's Stones,_

_Four Hogwarts artifacts,_

_Three house-elves,_

_Two Order spies,_

_And Harry Potter in a pine tree._

_On the sixth day of Christmas,_

_My Death Eaters sent to me_

_Six of my Horcruxes,_

_Five Philosopher's Stones,_

_Four Hogwarts artifacts,_

_Three house-elves,_

_Two Order spies,_

_And Harry Potter in a pine tree._

_On the seventh day of Christmas,_

_My Death Eaters sent to me_

_Seven new Death Eaters,_

_Six of my Horcruxes,_

_Five Philosopher's Stones,_

_Four Hogwarts artifacts,_

_Three house-elves,_

_Two Order spies,_

_And Harry Potter in a pine tree._

_On the eighth day of Christmas,_

_My Death Eaters sent to me_

_Eight blazing redheads,_

_Seven new Death Eaters,_

_Six of my Horcruxes,_

_Five Philosopher's Stones,_

_Four Hogwarts artifacts,_

_Three house-elves,_

_Two Order spies,_

_And Harry Potter in a pine tree._

_On the ninth day of Christmas,_

_My Death Eaters sent to me_

_Nine Weasley blood-traitors,_

_Eight blazing redheads,_

_Seven new Death Eaters,_

_Six of my Horcruxes,_

_Five Philosopher's Stones,_

_Four Hogwarts artifacts,_

_Three house-elves,_

_Two Order spies,_

_And Harry Potter in a pine tree._

_On the tenth day of Christmas,_

_My Death Eaters sent to me_

_Ten Ministers of Magic,_

_Nine Weasley blood-traitors,_

_Eight blazing redheads,_

_Seven new Death Eaters,_

_Six of my Horcruxes,_

_Five Philosopher's Stones,_

_Four Hogwarts artifacts,_

_Three house-elves,_

_Two Order spies,_

_And Harry Potter in a pine tree._

_On the eleventh day of Christmas,_

_My Death Eaters sent to me_

_Eleven filthy Mudbloods,_

_Ten Ministers of Magic,_

_Nine Weasley blood-traitors,_

_Eight blazing redheads,_

_Seven new Death Eaters,_

_Six of my Horcruxes,_

_Five Philosopher's Stones,_

_Four Hogwarts artifacts,_

_Three house-elves,_

_Two Order spies,_

_And Harry Potter in a pine tree._

_On the twelfth day of Christmas,_

_My Death Eaters sent to me_

_Twelve troops of Giants,_

_Eleven filthy Mudbloods,_

_Ten Ministers of Magic,_

_Nine Weasley blood-traitors,_

_Eight blazing redheads,_

_Seven new Death Eaters,_

_Six of my Horcruxes,_

_Five Philosopher's Stones,_

_Four Hogwarts artifacts,_

_Three house-elves,_

_Two Order spies,_

_And Harry Potter in a pine tree!_

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